Scared

I have been suffering chronic back aches for quite some time now, and the more weight I lose, the worse they get, ironic, isn't it? Moreover I am constantly tired, the more I sleep, the more sleep I seem to be needing. I've been struggling to function normally for a month or three or four or so, and that's getting worse, just like my back aching.

Last Monday, the day of Christmas Eve, I absolutely lost it. Frequent haivy pains and continuous tiredness doesn't make you a really nice person, well, it doesn't make me a nice person... So I picked out the strongest opponent I could find at work and verbally attacked him. The battle wasn't even mine to fight. It was actually one of my less assertive colleagues fights, but she didn't seem to bother to say no and stand up for herself, so I did. And only gave up when the other one walked away, not even feeling a bit of victory nor sorry that I did it, the only thing I did feel was that I had lost a bit of the frustration.

Then when I was full of frustration again and there were no strong opponents in my neighbourhood, I nearly bursted out in tears. That's the point where I picked up the phone to ring my doctor for an appointment, that's not me, I don't attack my colleagues and I do not burst out in tears for no obvious reason, I didn't even do that when I was pregnant, so why would I start doing that now!? I got an appointment for Friday evening. Yeah, the holiday season, what a time of year to be needing a doctor!

I did have a talk to my boss on the back pain matter, and he thought that it came from my heart. He practices Shiatsu. It could be right though, but it scared me too... It's an odd idea, that your figurative heart can give you that much pain...

Friday night finally brought an answer... I have had a cyste on my back for quite some time now and it has found its way in between my ribs on my backside, and it is in the middle of a nerve line, so when it changes shape, it causes instant pain, but that's not the only thing, I have suffered with my back and hips during my pregnancy with Ilyas, which might have been caused by a car accident I was in. But I thought it was better afterwards, which it wasn't. Now I don't feel the pain in my hips, but they still are not on the same level, my left one shifts through for about 10 cm, add this to the fact that my loss of weight has made my lower back lose stability, so when it should be going up in one line, mine is doing anything but going up in a straight line.
The pains are worse when I'm tired, which I mostly am so it's kind of a viscious circle.

Now I need to see a kinesitherapist in combination with a relaxation therapist, and I need to do it soon...

Because there is more, I need to relax more, need to take more free time, because according to my doctor I am well on my way to become a CFS patient. CFS meaning Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She said that if I didn't take action fast it might turn out badly. I needed to hit the brake and set my goals a lot lower then I have been putting them lately.

This scares the hell out of me

I have seen documentaries on CFS patients, they just fell asleep wherever they were, in the middle of a conversation or so... But those cases are only the worst ones, like always only the worst is shown on tele, but still. So now I will start relaxation therapy, and I will set lower goals, ironically the lower I set my goal the higher I score.

My own people...

one of my friends / colleagues just came back from holiday, he spent a month in Thailand and came back with some souvenirs and a load of information. Appearantly there is a people in the mountains called "Karen". And he bought me a souvenir doll / keychain.

To find out more about the Karen people, click here.

Citytrip

The end of the year is approching rapidly and we are ready for yet another city trip, so we've been looking at places to go to, seeing some prices etc. and probably we'll end up in London again :D yeey!!! I love that city! I thought we'd not go there for quite some time, but appearantly we're going back this year!! Hoorrah!!!

Reading about food

OK, I admit I love talking about food, but this morning someone gave me a brochure featuring about 30 to 40 books about food (not cook books), how much can one read about food!? and how much weight will I gain afterwards? Because I have the strong impression that reading about food will only make me hungry and hunger usually makes me eat etc.
Ok, that solves the coat problem, but still...

Fashion

I'll never quite understand fashion, I have known a long time, and I am aware of the fact that I might never understand it. But really... during summer period the 7/8 pants were the thing to wear. And now, in autumn, whilst it's getting colder, windier, rainier, it's the hippest thing to wear extremely short pants! What's up with that!?

Give me a warm cuddly sweater, preferably in wool with a nice warm collar, a pair of pants that at least covers my knees and shoes that will fit up to about that.

which brings me to my new mission: finding a new winter coat, because I am wearing my old one now, and it fits another Karen in it, aaaaaah, the advantages of losing weight. But to me it's not really one of the advantages though because I'm not too fond of shopping for new clothes. The most embarrasing things happen to me whilst shopping...
Either there is someone snapping things from my hand, either I trip and pull down a load of clothes, or there is a kid that thinks his mum is in the fitting room where I'm in (mostly just in my undies... jeej)

New hobby

I've got a new hobby, you'll laugh your arses off, but well hey, I have got to keep myself out of trouble ;) My new hobby is crochet, regular crochet and amigurumi, which is making crocheted toys and stuff. :) I'll post some pics of my creatures soon.



However, I already have a picture of Yaesseen and Ilyas wearing a snake scarf I made, only Ilyas' scarf is really visible though... ;) If anyone of you should feel like making a similar one, the pattern can be found here.

My soul

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

the colour of my heart

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life. Your flirting style: Laid back Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Rudolf

You Are Rudolph

Sweet and shy, you tend to be happiest when you're making someone else happy. Why You're Naughty: You sometimes stick that nose where it doesn't belong Why You're Nice: Christmas would be a sad affair without you!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

Because El Shorty asked me to...

ok, so I haven't been updating my blog regularly lately... there is an explanation for, but I won't bore you with the details ;)

But I'm back again

*moehahaha*

now hoping that more people then El Shorty will be reading it and posting comments ;)

For Lowèn

An angel in the book of life,

wrote down an infant's birth

and mentioned as he closed the book

... too beautiful for earth.

Today...

it has been a while since I update you all on the e-mails editor Bob keeps sending me. Well, today I got another e-mail. And you'll never guess what day it is (it's my Uncle's b-day) ... it's "Tell a joke day", quite ironic since today is the first in the entire week that I do not feel like telling jokes...

And since it's already half past ten in the evening I doubt I'll get in the mood ;) but hey, maybe I get a cracking idea, if I do, I'll surely let you all know! :D

Good thing Editor Bob also included a joke, however, I don't think it's really amusing though. The joke didn't even make me smile.

But there's another thing going on today... today is also "True love forever day", but I think that's another one of his jokes ;) however, the thought of love forever seems quite appealing to me, but it kind of makes me wonder too. Why the hell would you create a day for something to happen eternally, would every day therefore not be true love forever day? or is only August 16th suitable for the matter?

Hmm he included something rather worrying in his e-mail, starting on Sunday is Friendships week... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
that means I will be spammed with the mail messages of Winnie The Pooh, Me to You etc. and they will keep coming for eternity. ;)

Ok, maybe today was not such a good day to update my blog... ;)

at the playground :)

Meet the neighbours

Is it not odd how you can live next to people for years and not know them!? I realise that it's a shame that I never really knew the neighbours I have lived next to for the 21st years of my life. Now we are living in Lier for something over two years and we know most of our neighbours and I like it. The guy who lives in the downstairs flat across the street, Erik, we met him because his cat Noa ran away, and now we have a really nice bond with him. I always enjoy chatting to him. The Pakistan family who lives in the same building on the first floor are possibly the friendliest neighbours you can have, Wahid and Tahira and their daughter, whose name accidently slipped my mind. But Wahid will always come and greet us, he'll always try to help us, even if it would mean carrying our shopping whilst he's got somewhere to be. (Of course I don't let him, I'm too proud to ask for his help, but still the fact that he offers means a great deal to me.) And so we know most of the people who live quite close to us and we usually try to have a wee talk to them, to hear how things are going with them, the children, the grandchildren and stuff. And it is nice. I suggest you try that too. ;)

Because I promised

adopt your own virtual pet!

What are you waiting for!?

You know how I love and adore good links, well, here are two great ones; you really ought to go and see (one of them you should be visiting again, since I already linked a couple of times to this site ;p)
1. This one's great
2. This one's the next step after the first one.

I'm sorry about the cryptic description, but this time I won't introduce the site anymore, you should just go and see for yourselves, really, there is no better site then the first one! :D

The hype

Remember my post on El Shorty's shirt?? Well, last weekend we had a party, it was a birthday party for Icky, Tom and Jon. During the preparation Tom was wearing a shirt I had never seen before, and it looked like this;

I guess it's becoming a true hype... having your nickname on your back with 69 underneath... hmm, let's all go and get one ;) LOL

how your computer mouse works

I received a brilliant e-mail in my mailbox, and I feel like I need to share it with you guys. So here goes;
Have you ever wondered how the arrow on your screen moves around each time you move your mouse? Well, the Japanese will now reveal their secret. Through an enlarged image of your screen they will show it. Click on this link and move your mouse slowly over the grey circle to see how the wonder truly works.

Don't buy these mints

... unless you like your mints chewy on the outside, rubbery halfway and fluid in the centre... the minty taste is good though, the structure is not all that good ...

Friday 13th

As you all may well know, last Friday was Friday 13th, I am not really supersticious and I never ever worry about things like that.

Until now... my friend Phasma said last Friday morning to one of our colleagues that it would be a lucky day. And now he regrets saying so, because it turned out to be a really bad day for him. However, I must say that his bad luck shows off pretty cool. He's had an accident at home with an aggressive ornament that attacked him, but now he's looking really sexy and all the women are drewling over him. ;)